03 October 2005

Silky, one of my two cats, died... :(

So, I haven't had the strength to really post till now. I've been trying to keep busy and what not just to keep from falling into a deep black pit of dispair and sadness. I've been mostly successful, but not 100%. Going to the bathroom is the worst. Too much time to think to yourself. I end up just balling. :(

So Sunday, my husband and I go out to the car to leave for the Renaissance Faire. I was about to get into the car when I saw Silky lying out on the cement. I didn't think anything of it since she likes to sun herself in that position.

I went up to her to get her to go inside. I said "Silky?" a few times, according to my husband.

That's when I saw the flies that came out of her eye. :( This was the last image of her in my mind and everytime I close my eyes I see that image. :(

Neil took me inside where I cried uncontrolably for a while. I then informed him that we were going to go to Faire. I could not deal with this right now. Not when I had a friend die just a few weeks ago. :(

He headed outside to pick her up off the ground. I couldn't do it and I'm appreciative that he did it for me. I went over to a friend's place, who's just a few houses over from us. He wasn't there and as I headed back Neil was talking to someone with animal control. He gave silky's body over to them and got a card. He was told by the officer that if we wanted we could have silky cremated.

Off to Faire we went. It was a beautiful day out, sunny but not too warm. We had a fairly good time at Faire and I could forget things for a little bit, but those bathroom breaks were killer. Too much time to think. To distract myself, I picked up some tea and bought a new knife, a damascus blade that's comprised of 50 layers. Something I always wanted, but at the end of the day, it wouldn't bring her back. It could only distract me for a little bit from the cloud of sadness.

The rest of the day was relatively uneventful. We ended up eating dinner with Dave (the friend who wasn't home) over at Olive Garden then retired home for the rest of the evening.

Today, I called animal control informing them that we decided to have Silky cremated. I was asked if I wanted her ashes. I didn't know they could do that there so I said "Yes, absolutely, please", so I will get a call later this week informing me to come pick up her ashes. Neil and I talked about it and we're going to Faire again this weekend to find a carved wooden box, maybe made of rose wood or some other wood that's beautiful, to hold her.

I miss her. :( I miss her annoying purr that can wake up the dead. How she would pester you till you got up and got her food, all of it. There were times in my past where she and her sister Satin (who disappeared a couple of years ago) were the only reasons I'm still here.

I really love her and miss her. :(


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